Book Review: Beyond the After: Princess Lillian

* Please note, my editor is on a road trip and has not been able to look this post over. Errors probably abound!

It seems I have finally come to the last book in my long list of fellow Independently Published Authors, and to be quite honest, this one has left me a little flummoxed. Beyond the After: Princess Lillian by C. M. Healy has remarkably high reviews on both Amazon and Goodreads. I, myself, was initially relieved to see good writing in the few seconds I had to glance through the book when I had the opportunity to meet Healy at a faire we were both signing books at and we exchanged books, as authors sometimes do. It took me awhile to get to the book because I had a few in line ahead of him, but now it is finished! So let's dive into why I'm confused by these high ratings.

The Premise

This is the first book in a planned series of four that follows the children of familiar and beloved princesses Snow White, Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty. The first book centers around Lillian, Snow White's eldest child. She has just turned eighteen and everyone is trying to learn that new balance of what it looks like to have a young woman in the house who is no longer a child but is still not quite an adult. When Lillian wanders away from her birthday party, setting off a string of odd events that leads to her meeting a mysterious stranger in the woods, she quickly discovers that an old adversary to her family's kingdom long thought destroyed has returned and is on the rise. Can she trust this new presence in her life or will she have to rely on herself to save the day?

The Plot

I really wanted this to be good, but it was so flat. There were brief moments where things started to happen or could have happened and then just fell through or were resolved so quickly that it was completely vanilla to me. There was not a single moment when I found myself eagerly turning the page, needing to find out what was going to happen next. There was very little that was surprising, nearly every plot point hit was predictable, and there was a heck of a lot of winking happening. People winked all the dang time in this book.

The Characters

This is another area where I felt things were severely lacking. Lillian herself was fairly accurately portrayed as a young woman coming into her own, trying to figure out her limits as a new adult and testing just how far her parents would let her go while still very much needing them at times. As the main character, that was good to see. She didn't have much of a personality, though. She wasn't quirky or silly, she wasn't snarky or sarcastic, polite or impolite. She was just...there. Her love interest, Alexander, was the very definition of a Gary Stu, the male version of a Mary Sue. He was handsome and mysterious. He saved her life in the beginning of the book. He baked perfect bread. He was a master archer and swordsman. He fished like no one's business. He never got angry with her even when he should have, and he always had the perfect answers. It was annoying and, quite frankly, almost made me want to stop reading at times. The villain was kind of abstract most of the time. Yes, actual threats to Lillian show up, but again, they were neutralized ridiculously easily and quickly. The real bad guy never actually shows up, and his “biggest, baddest henchman” only shows up at the very end and we barely get to spend any time with him. And the whole time, he's locked in a cell.

Saving Graces

Healy is a good writer, I will give him that. His flow and sentence structure is smooth and there was never a moment that I had to stop and reread anything because it was confusing or unclear. His descriptions of places and events was actually something I quite admired. There are certain scenes I could and still can picture quite clearly, and I really enjoyed those moments when I was truly transported into his world. Given that there are three more books in this series, one of which is published and two which are not yet written, I hope what was begun is expanded upon, but in a book that is a little over 300 pages long, much more could have already been opened up than was.

Final Thoughts

The book ends on what should be a cliffhanger. SPOILERS BEGIN HERE The love interest has been kidnapped, his true identity still a ginormous mystery. Lillian is riding away from the castle alone on a mission to save him and, ultimately, her kingdom, having learned one of her childhood friends has betrayed her and was working for the enemy. SPOILERS END HERE By all rights, I should be left ready and wanting to jump into the next book...but I don't really care what happens. I feel horrible saying it, but that's the truth. I'm not going to read the next book because I was not entertained by the first one. This is why I am left confused at all the high ratings. This is a bland story with bland, forgettable characters.

As a reminder, reviews are so important. If you have read any of my books, I would so love and appreciate you taking the time to leave a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads. Whether you loved the book, hated it, or somewhere in between, ratings and reviews help! I'm certainly going to be leaving a review for Mr. Healy, though one much more condensed, because I think it's only fair.

Also, as part of a huge oversight on my part last week, I forgot to leave a link to the blog where you can find Alex, the author of the guest blog post, “Novel Soup." Check him out here and tell him Diana sent you!

Gridiron Conspiracy by Christopher Paniccia

Dear Readers,

This is a blog entry I never wanted to write. This is a review I never wanted to write. The time has come, however, to get the dreaded "Did Not Finish" review out of the way. So let's buckle in and do this. Today I am reviewing Gridiron Conspiracy by Christopher Paniccia, and I am about to test my own ability to stick to my "100% honesty" in my book reviews.

I had high hopes for this book. I met Christopher at the New England Author Expo this summer in Massachusetts and had the pleasure of hearing him speak on a panel for first-time publishers. Most of the points that were brought up were things I already knew, but Christopher and his fellow panelists were fantastic speakers and did have a few suggestions and tips I hadn't thought of myself. Afterward, when I was wandering around, I had the opportunity to speak with him. I purchased some of his amazing artwork, and we agreed to a swap of the first books in our series.

The first book in Christopher's series follows a protagonist by the same name, a young man entering into the world of professional football. Not too far into the book, we learn that Chirs is unknowingly part of a secret government program that is cloning players and it goes much deeper than just professional football. Really, it's a fascinating premise, but the whole thing is poorly executed. When my male best friend asked me what the book was about, as soon as the word "football" passed my lips, he said, "Well, of course you don't like it if it's a sports book!" For the record, I love football. Also for the record, whether I love football or not, a well-written story should engage the reader regardless. The book opens up with two chapters of exposition and history of the character and the game, with the narration having little more than a monotone voice. At times it felt like I was reading a report or an essay rather than a work of fiction. We writers tend to fall into this trap of wanting to show off all this knowledge we have on particular subjects that we cross the line of being informative into being preachy encyclopedias telling the reader way more than they ever want or even need to know. This book crossed that line way too many times.

When we finally get to meet some characters and see some interactions, they leave much to be desired. Interactions feel forced, dialogue is wooden and awkward, (no one uses contractions. Like...what? O_o) head hopping occurs so frequently that you don't know whose perspective you're reading from at any given moment, especially since this book is written in block format where the cardinal rule of starting a new paragraph each time a new character speaks is broken on the regular. And don't even get me started on the switching tenses and the grammar!

 

This book got me shook, y'all.

I really wanted to like this one. The cover is awesome. It's minimalistic and different and really catches your eye. I really liked Chirs, and I really wanted to like his book. Unfortunately, this one is definitely not for me. I had to walk away after a hundred pages, and that was really forcing myself to get that far. In the interest of my sanity, it's time for me to move on.

Up next: The Rare Pearl by Jennifer W. Smith. Spoiler Alert! I've already started reading this one and this author has restored my faith in independently published authors.

A Tale of Mist and Shadow by M. R. Laver

Hello, fellow readers! Here I am with my second book review. Today, it is M. R. Laver's A Tale of Mist and Shadow, the first book in his series by the same name. It is classified under Science Fiction and Fantasy, but I would definitely call it pure Fantasy. The book itself is 450 pages long and can be purchased both in e-book format and as a paperback through Amazon.

I started reading this book shortly after I "met" Laver online through a mutual friend of ours. When I found out he was a fellow author, I knew I wanted to read his first book and throw some support his way. We independently published authors need to stick together, after all. Knowing he was a Fantasy author and a fellow Christian, I figured that chances were pretty high that his work would be right up my alley. So I downloaded the book and got to reading. In truth, it took me far longer to get through this book than it should have, and that was my own fault. I had to stop reading for awhile to get a different book in, and that may have made some details revealed earlier in the book a little fuzzy.

The story starts off by throwing the reader into a bit of a battle and some conflict between those in charge (and those who think they're in charge) of a small town, and it really doesn't slow down much from there. Laver's strength is definitely writing battle scenes. Actions are precise and easily pictured, explaining what is happening and with what kinds of instruments and types of people involved without talking down to the reader. These scenes were easily my favorite. I will say that there were one or two battle scenes that felt drawn out for longer than they should have been, but even then, these were the scenes where the storytelling really shone.

As a whole, the book is not without its flaws. There are multiple grammatical issues, inconsistencies, and some characters that you just don't like. Even the worst villains have some sort of quality that makes you want to read more about them. Unfortunately, that is not the case with the demi-villain in this book. She has no redeeming qualities about her and I honestly sighed every time she was involved in a scene because I knew there would be some sort of subtle (often far from subtle) allusion to sex.

The plot doesn't feel fleshed out enough, which says something for a book that is 450 pages long. There is so much thrown into the novel that not enough time is spent on a single element to get the reader truly invested in it. I was always taught that a good novel in a series takes two or three big ideas and focuses on them while weaving the smaller elements around them, saving other big ideas for later books in the series. It felt like Laver took all his big ideas and stuffed them into this first novel, which left me feel a bit chaotic. There were so many things to learn, characters to keep track of, myths to separate, that sometimes I felt overwhelmed, which made me not want not read as much. Not a good thing.

Dialogue between characters was 50/50. Sometimes it felt extremely organic and believable, others had them pausing in the middle of very serious situations to have a slapstick comedy moment full of laughter. Sometimes reactions were so out of the ordinary that it took me out of the story to wonder about it. There were also moments of swearing which took me completely off guard and just didn't sit well with me. It felt thrown in there to try to make the scene more intense or important, but it just made it awkward.

I did love some of the characters. Grace was definitely my favorite bar far. She felt the most real to me, and her story had a distinguishable arc to it that I thought was beautifully handled. There was even a side character or two that I wished we could have seen more of or learned more about, but again, this was an area where there was just so much that there was not enough time spend on any one character.

My overall rating for this title three out of five stars.

If you would like to check out this title for yourself, check out the Amazon page. 
If reading isn't you thing, you can also find it on Audible. 
M. R. Laver can also be found on Facebook and Twitter.

If you are an author and have a book you would like me to review, leave a comment down below and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. The wait list is rather long at the moment, but I am still taking new titles.

Doorways and Debts by J. P. Michaels

As an independent author, I know how hard it is to get your name out there and to get recognition and reviews for your books. Because of this, I want to support as many other independent authors as I can. My goal is to read and review at least four books a year, starting in 2018, written by self-published and little-known authors. It may be a lofty goal, especially looking at my busy schedule, but it's something I feel is important enough to make time for. That being said, if you know of an independent author or are one yourself, send titles (or books!) my way. I'm starting a list to go through.

Before I begin I will say these thoughts and opinions are my own. They are not a representation of how anyone else I know who has read the book feels about it. My reviews may sound harsh at times, especially given that I know for 100% certainty that my own books are far from perfect. However, I feel it is important to be honest and to help each other along this rather arduous and isolating road of being an IA. None of my comments are meant to be malicious, neither are they meant to blow sunshine. They are meant to help grow, refine, and encourage. I can only hope others would do the same for me.
 

This first review is of a book called Doorways and Debts by J.P. Michaels. I was actually in the middle of another IA's book when I received this one, but chose to make this title a priority since I would be seeing the author again in a month. When I sold my book at the Mutton and Mead Medieval Festival in Turners Falls, Mass last month, I had the pleasure of meeting J.P. in person. We were able to have a great, albeit short, conversation in which we agreed to a book exchange. Because I was slow and stupid busy, it took me about six weeks to get through. Having finished it just last night, I wanted to get the review done while thoughts and feelings were still fresh on my mind.

Format and Grammar
J.P. writes in a block format that is sometimes hard to follow. Instead of starting new paragraphs each time a new character speaks, there could sometimes be up to three different characters speaking in the same paragraph. Many times, I had to go back and read things over to be sure of who was speaking and when. Another thing that made me pause at times were the paragraphs that were little else but definitive statements. He did this. He did that. She came from here. She went there. Sometimes it was just a laundry list of what the character was doing, and that made reading certain sections a little tedious. He also tended to get caught up in describing characters to minute details, even sometimes, characters who were only used very briefly. It may be a personal preference, but I like basic descriptions of characters that leave room for personalization through imagination as I read. It matters little to me the exact height or weight of a character. Short, tall, average is really all I need to know. Several times I was taken off guard by incorrect words, such as "wonder" instead of "wander," and little things like that. However, I've had a few similar instances in my own books, so I can't really be too picky about that.

 

Setting

I want to know more about this world than I was given. To be fair, this is a side story to J.P.'s main series entitled The Legacy of Jiraiya, but it left me feeling like I was jipped on this fantasy world he created. There are clear indications that this place is not like our world. There are lions that walk on their hind legs, orcs, dwarves, elves, even creatures that look like talking rocks. There are allusions and brief mentions of a war, but other than that, this great big fantasy world is very limited. I was disappointed that we didn't get to explore things a little more. For most of the book, we are inside an inn and its different levels that have a bar, a restaurant, and a spa. Different, certainly, but not expansive.

Plot

This is where my review may come across as harsh, but as I said, I'm going for 100% honesty in hopes of helping people grow in their craft. The plot of this book was very thin and not very engaging. The first few chapters where we are getting to know the main characters and find out about this magical doorway that leads to another world got me so excited about what was to come...only to find out that the rest of the book follows only two of the five characters we're initially introduced to as they do odd jobs to pay off this mysterious debt that is keeping them all from returning home. That's it. There is very little conflict, and when there is, it is addressed and solved rather quickly and tidily. There was no villain, no antagonist at all, really, and that was disappointing.
 

Characters
I love these characters. J.P.'s strongest feature in this book is definitely his ability to create endearing characters. Though the book mainly focuses on two young teenage boys, Andy and Roger, we also get to meet Ed, Tom, and Jack. They are all distinctly different from one another in personality, though not always in voice. For as young as they are, they have a bit of a Dawson's Creek syndrome to them in that they speak a lot older than they are. That doesn't do much to tarnish who they are, however. I got a clear Goonies vibe from the group right from the beginning. I loved the relationship between Andy and Jack especially. There is always one kid in every group of friends who ends up the butt of the joke, even if it's not meant to be mean, and I loved seeing the "leader" of this pack come to the rescue and stand up for his friend even against his other friends.

Mister Gravoa was a fun character to meet. His pattern of speech instantly made me think of Gru from Despicable Me which, whether intended or not, made me love him all the more. As a mentor, he watches over all five boys from afar while still managing to be involved. No easy task when it comes to teenagers.

The three girls we are introduced to-Laurel, Nicole, and Marie-are all very different from one another and just as endearing as the boys in their own individual ways. I could see bits of myself in each of them, just as I'm sure boys/men would see bits of themselves in each of the boys. There was a brief scene at the end of the book between Laurel and Mister Gravoa that actually made me quite sad. It was beautifully addressed and I'm sure it was the reaction J.P. was going for.

Final Thoughts
This is a good book for pre-teen/young teens if they need a casual read. There are a few swears within, so if that is something you're worried about, be aware. I always encourage parents to read the books their children want to read first, simply because you just never know what can be hidden within the pages nestled between a pretty cover and a back-of-the-book summary.

Links
The Legacy of Jiraiya Website
Amazon Page
Facebook Page